i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
