No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
