Heybabeimwearingurpanties
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
