and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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