You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Someone shattered a urinal.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
