Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
