Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
