Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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