Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Randomize
