I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
