I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
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