You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
