Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize