i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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