i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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