She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
