Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
