So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
