Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
