I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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