I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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