Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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