Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
