I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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