Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
