I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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