Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
