I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
