hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
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He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize