you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
