I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
