He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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