No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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