it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
