If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
