what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
smell my finger.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Randomize
