Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize