oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
