I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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