I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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