I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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