What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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