try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
