alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
