he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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