This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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