She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Damn victory sex feels great
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
