Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
