some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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