so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
