You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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