I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
