I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
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I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
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Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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