I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
