Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
