D3 body, D1 cock
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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