Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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