i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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